So Far Away
by aperfectchapter
Summary: A quick oneshot taking place after "You're Welcome". Team Angel & The Scooby Gang reflect on memories of Cordelia.


Takes place after "You're Welcome". I realize that this story has been written, but its something that I can't get out of my head.. Mostly because it pisses me off that there wasn't a really goodbye for Cordelia. Everyone focused so much on Fred, but Cordelia had been there seven years and it seems as if no one really mourned her death.  
>Anyways, please review.<p>

**So Far Away**

_Never feared for anything__  
><em>_Never shamed but never free__  
><em>_A light that healed a broken heart with all that it could__  
><em>_Lived a life so endlessly__  
><em>_Saw beyond what others see__  
><em>_I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could_

There had been so many people at the funeral, some that she'd gone to high school with, her followers the 'Cordettes', people in the entertainment industry she'd met when she'd first moved to LA, but what amazed Angel the most, is how many people that had only met Cordelia once, typically when she was aiding in saving their lives showed up.  
>Giles and Buffy, and the rest of the scoobies had flown in from their various new locations, none of them had seen Angel yet.<br>In fact, no one saw him, he stood in the back of the church watching and listening as people spoke of her. The Cordelia they knew. The homecoming queen, the cheerleading caption, the girl voted best dressed in the yearbook for four years in a row.  
>None of them knew who she was now. Not even her own parents, who spoke of their beloved daughter as an independent, stubborn, beautiful girl whose biggest passion was to be a star, to be famous. And while yes, the Cordelia he knew, his Cordy was most of those things.. her passion was not to be famous, not to be a poster on the walls of millions, it was to help the helpless, bring happiness upon the ones she loved, light up a strangers day with one of her contagious smiles, but it seemed that no one in her old life saw that girl.<br>Angel was the first to leave the funeral, sneaking out the back as the final prayers were being said.  
>He didn't go back to Wolfram &amp; Hart, instead he went to the Hyperion Hotel. The hotel still looked exactly how they'd left it. He made his way around the front desk, remembering when they'd first began their business there, the business cards on the counter, Cordy always in the back working on something or just goofing off. He could see here there, just as he had seen her only two years ago, answering the phones, filing papers, all while cradling baby Conner in her arms lovingly. The mental image alone was enough to bring tears to his eyes.<br>Sitting down at her old desk, he buried his face in his hands unable to take the pain anymore, it was too much to bare. A part of him always believed that she'd come back, they'd finally have their chance. As his fist hit the desk in a fit of rage, one of the drawers busted open, all of its contents scattering on the floor.  
>Angel looked down at them in awe, seeing pictures scattered. The first one that caught his eye was one that was taken when they had first opened Angel Investigations. A smiling Cordelia was in the middle of Angel, and Doyle, both of them had their arms around her as she was holding out the first printed Angel Investigations business card. He'd seen the photo dozens of times, but looking at it after so long was the first time he noticed his and Doyles matching expressions, both of them smiling, but neither were looking at the camera, instead they were both staring at Cordelia. In love with the same girl, even if at the time he hadn't realized it. There were other photos of the three of them, a couple of just her and Doyle, more of her, Angel and Wesley. Random shots from throughout the years, the happier days, even if their lives were constantly in danger. They were happy. Another one stood out in the scattered mess, Cordelia holding Conner sitting on the couch in the lobby, Angel sitting closely by her side, both of them looking at the little boy in amazement. As he held tightly to the photo, clutching it to his chest where his heart didn't beat he heard the sound of the doors opening.<br>He didn't move from his spot, he just continued to look through the pile, smiling at a picture of Cordy and Fred all dressed up the night they went to the opera, only weeks before everything around them started crashing down.

"Thought we might find you here Angel Face" the soothing voice that belonged to Lorne said from the counter, looking up he saw Fred, Wesley, Gunn, Harmony, and Spike standing there, but in the back he heard other whispers. As he stood, he saw Buffy, Willow, Xander, Oz, Giles and Dawn standing near the door with heartbroken and worried faces.  
>He didn't say anything to them, just sat back down on the floor and continued to go through the pictures. One by one, the "Team Angel" group joined him, all eyes puffy from the events before.<br>"I remember that night" Lorne smiled, though sadness was heard in his voice, it was a picture of them all, aside from Harmony and Spike. Wesley, Gunn, Lorne and Angel stood side by side, Cordelia on Lornes back, one arm around Angels shoulders, her other was holding on to Freds hand, who was trying to keep balance with one leg on Gunns shoulder, and one on Wesleys. They were all laughing, even Angel, which was a rare occasion back then. No one remembered who took the picture, just that they were happy.  
>"I wish someone would've gotten a picture of what happened about five seconds later" Fred laughed, remembering losing her balance and jerking Cordys arm, making her fall backwards, leaving all of the guys trying to catch them before they fell to the floor, but not even Angels reflexes were quick enough that time, the two girls ended up on the floor in a fit of giggles.<br>As the group continued to look through the pictures, laughing at some, hiding their tears when it came to others, the group by the door made their way closer to the others. Angel turned his attention to them for the first time and stood up. Without a word, the brooding brunette vampire went into the back office for the first time in a very long time, grabbing a box from the closet that they had gotten out of Cordys apartment after she'd disappeared for three months. He brought it to the counter and opened it in front of the group of her peers that only knew the girl from high school. Inside was a class of '99 year book, although most of the cover was burned. There were also random photos from school dances, nights at the prom, days at the beach when her and Xander were dating..  
>"You might want to read what she wrote in there" he told them, opening the year book to the senior class.<br>Lorne and the others were still looking through the pile of photos scattered on the floor as Xander took the yearbook, finding his name and the seeing her perfect handwriting all along the margin of the page. There was a little heart next to his name, which made him smile and he began reading the small cursive script aloud, "Xander Harris. My first love, the first person to show me that great things sometimes come in poorly dressed packages. He made me see that sometimes people make mistakes, but in the end you can look back on the memories you shared and smile. I'll never forget our time together, or how with him I finally stopped feeling alone in a room full of people." Xander couldn't help the tears the fell from his face, Willow grabbed his hand, tears in her own eyes.  
>"When did she..?" Willow questioned, not needing to go on.<br>"She went back the night of graduation and found the yearbook.. I saw her writing in it after Buffy came to LA for the first time." Angel explained, watching as Willow found the page with her picture.  
>"The smartest girl at Sunnydale High, she was wise beyond her years, and dressed beyond them too, but still.. Willow has one of the biggest hearts, and shined brighter than any of us did because she never gave into shallow trends. She wasn't afraid to be herself, and she taught me that it was okay to be me." Without another word, she passed the book to Oz, who had never known the girl very well, but was still shocked by what he read.<br>"One of the sweetest souls. He taught me forgiveness, and how if you are truly meant to be with someone, you can look past mistakes they made." Oz smiled as he glanced to Willow before finally handing the book to Giles, who saw the same cursive script on the last page of the yearbook that showed a picture of Giles in the library.  
>"A man who truly cared, a man who acted as more of a father than my own. The first person to ever actually get me to research anything." Giles smiled, feeling somehow changed by the words of the girl he hadn't seen since graduation night. He never would have imagined that she'd turn out a champion, but somehow it didn't surprise him that she turned out to be so determined.<br>As Giles began to close the book, a photo fell out, it was of Cordelia and Buffy in their red and green dresses, both complete messes after 'Slayer Fest'.  
>Buffy grabbed the photo off the counter, staring at it for moments before turning it over and reading from the back, "Buffy Summers, the girl who changed it all. At first I thought she was brought from Hell to bring death to everyone she came into contact with.. She was the one who showed me that the monsters are real, but she also showed me that the heros are real as well. She taught me that I don't have to just be some pretty girl, I can change the world, I can save the world."<br>Angel smiled as he heard the worlds the love of his existence had written about the girl he thought he loved more than anything.

The group stayed in the hotel for hours, telling stories, looking through pictures. The Scooby gang learning of what Cordelia had become, who she was when she died.  
>She was better than them all. At any given time every person in that room wished they could quit being who they are.. the slayers, the watchers, the witches, demons, vampires with souls. But Cordelia Chase embraced who she was, she valued her gift. When she was given the chance to give it up and have what she thought she always wanted, she refused. She fought the good fight, helped the helpless, comforted the broken and cheered on the champions. Cordelia Chase changed the world.<br>She was everything in the world now. The guardian looking out for her friends, the smile on a childs face, the beautiful sunset on the beach.  
>She once told Angel that continuing to live and fight for the good of the world after he'd lost Buffy was honoring her, and Angel intended to do exactly that, hoping that when the day finally came where his time was up they'd finally get their chance.<p>

Further away in existence, Cordelia was glowing, looking down on the hotel where her friends mourned her death, and celebrated her life. She smiled down on them all, but without realizing reached out and caressed Angels face softly, like she use to.  
>"Someday." She whispered where only he could hear, feeling his love for her as he smiled, looking up as he could see her.<p> 


End file.
